A Day in the Life of Me

*yawn* *stretch* Wow, oh WOW. It's been awhile since my last post, hasn't it?

You see, I sprained my right front paw while fighting off that fat brute of a neighbour's cat...

Fine. I tripped over a step and fell on myself. Humph. The pain from the sprain made life inconvenient for awhile. Clearly, I haven't been able to type and to update my dog blog. But I'm glad to report that my leg has since recovered and I can once again sneak out into the balcony to pee on the floor when no one is looking.

Oh, wait. I meant to say that I'm well enough to type. Yes, yes. I totally meant typing. (Goodness knows why I mentioned secret peeing.)

I've also been a busy dog doing busy-dog-things. Like sleeping, lounging, snoozing, napping, lying down, sleeping (did I already mention that?) I've even had a couple of staycays with my bud Summer, a white Maltese, where we spent the day following her human around the house (especially to the kitchen.)

There are so many things that a dog's gotta do in a day. Yet, I never let up on my doggy duty, which is to be ON GUARD! Because I'm a guard dog. That's my job.

I guard my humans from leaving the house, so that they won't have fun and eat nice things without me.

That's what it means to be a guard dog. Isn't it?

Well, this family will have to guard their own house later this month because this poodle is going places! Woo hoo! I'm being hosted by two sweet little girls and their mama at their cosy pad near the park. Mom brought me to preview their place and I'm sold! I think I'm going to love my staycay with them.

The girls have been really diligent in studying how to care for a dog. So I'm here to help them learn through my specially-designed module titled "How to Care for Me". In this course, I will give learners precious nuggets about me, and reveal top secrets about my likes and dislikes, loves and hates, dos and do-nots.

Let's start with a rundown of a day in the life of Me.

07:00 a.m. - Wake up. Stroll out of bedroom. Pee.

Hey! Some privacy for this dog, please! Tsk.

Wait for human to transfer my bed from the bedroom to the living room. Crawl back into bed to groom and snooze some more.

08:00 a.m. - Breakfast time! My littlest human has made this lovely video right here to show you how to prepare my meal.

After breakfast, please wipe the overnight goo from my eyes with a damp cotton pad. If you must, wipe my face with my face cloth. (Please note that this step is completely optional but I'll magnanimously oblige should you humans insist.)

Next, put on my harness and leash and take me out for my morning poo. It's best if you catch me before I settle down on my full stomach for my morning nap. It might be noon before I wake up.

After every walk, please wipe my paw pads and bum with a wet wipe before you let me back into the house. I'm clean like that. Remember to wash your hands with soap!

12:00 noon - 02:00 p.m. - When I look expectantly at you while you eat your lunch, it means that I'd like to have my midday snack, and my daily vitamins and supplements. Watch how to prepare my treat here.

Mmmm, nom nom nom.

02:00 p.m. - 05:00 p.m. - Catch up on more beauty sleep. Favourite daytime snooze spots are my pink bed, blanket, dad's yoga mat, my pee pad, and any cushions and paper that you leave lying around (for me).

There's no one here. Zzzzz.

Body massages and belly rubs are welcomed.

05:00 p.m. - Dinner time! Repeat my meal routine.

After dinner, please wipe my face (ugh) and take me for my evening walk. I may or may not poo again. It all boils down to my gut feel.

This is followed by my post-dinner nap.

Optional: Around the time when you have dinner, I might get really excited by the smells and hang around you for food. Feel free to give me a dollop of unsweetened Greek yoghurt or unsalted peanut butter.

Mom says NOT to round the tablespoon as shown in the picture.

Otherwise I'll look like a round ball of yoghurt too. RUDE.

If you are immune to my adorable doggy charms and are able to resist my snack request, well then... SERIOUSLY, WHO ARE YOU?!?!

(Oh, wait. I know who you are. You're Grandma. Whom also keeps calling me Miki. Grrr.)

09:00 p.m. - Bedtime! Bring my furry pink bed into your room and let me settle into bed. Don't forget to turn on the air-con, yah?

Good night!

Rinse and Repeat. (This is a figure of speech. I don't like rinsing. Don't do it.)

See? It's really easy to care for me! I can be low-maintenance. As long as you follow my Do's and Don'ts. Here we go:

Do

• Give me lots of cuddles! I love cuddles!

• Give me time to be alone. When I (politely) huff and move away from you, this is a sign that I need my personal space.

• Be gentle with me. I'm a little dog!

• Be patient with me. I have no teeth and a small jaw so I tend to eat slowly and get food all over the floor. It helps if you push all the scattered food back into the middle of my bowl for me to reach.

• Change the water in my bowl after I drink. Just like you, I like my water clean and fresh!

• Arrange my pee pad neatly after I scratch it up. (Sorry!)

• Clean up if I pee on your floor. I tend to only do that when I'm in an unfamiliar place, bored or to get your attention. (Sorry!)

• When we're out and about, please clean up after me in shared spaces at all times. Let's be responsible pets and pet-sitters!

Don't

• Don't feed me chocolate, grapes or raisins. Some foods are toxic to dogs. That said, don't freak out if I do help myself to crumbs from the floor. I would need to eat a large amount to get really sick. Always check with my humans first before you give me any food other than my own.

• Talking about getting sick, don't be alarmed if I go into a coughing fit. I'm not ill. I choke on myself when I get excited (like when welcoming you home)! I'll be okay once I calm down and breathe normally again.

• Don't be alarmed if I squawk. Loud squawking is vocal expression of my dramatic nature. Especially when people get too close to my ears (they're sensitive!) or if I'm complaining about a horrendously itchy spot.

• Don't let me scratch up your wall, doors or furniture. Guide me gently away and towards my scratching cardboard.

• Don't bathe me. (I hate baths.)

And that's it! We're done. See, that wasn't a long list! You'll be a certified expert in Miso Care in no time at all.

I'm excited to be staying with you. I hope you're looking forward to having me (of course you are!)

Love and cuddles,

Miso